Seeker Erebus on Nostr: More than a little confused. We're either talking around each other or you're ...

More than a little confused. We're either talking around each other or you're trolling me. I'll give you benefit and assume the first for right now.
It isn't actually a problem that there are a small number of main relays everyone is using. It's a network effect, same as with the other platforms. The huge difference is that if 1 or more of those 5 relays begins to be a bad actor, they can be dropped as a relay and replaced without interfering with the existing social bonds formed here. Only Nostr has that redundancy.
It is trivial to download all of an avatar's events from all of that avatar's relays and post all of those events to a new relay. It's not even necessary to be the owner of that avatar. So as long as at least one of the most used relays remains a good actor while others go bad, a personal relay is not necessary. And if a person is concerned they might be targeted for censorship, a personal relay is a perfectly viable option; it's not even hard to do.