Carlwt1 on Nostr: Happy Mother’s Day. 5-12-2024 Our mom died 3 years ago. She suffered from breast ...

Happy Mother’s Day. 5-12-2024

Our mom died 3 years ago.
She suffered from breast cancer about 5-6 years ago. After Chemo, radiation, surgery, she beat it.
Then about 4 1/2 years ago she contracted brain cancer.
She went through more treatments for another year and finally decided to try brain surgery.

She never recovered from surgery and spent the last 30 days of her life, after the surgery, lying in her Sparrow Hospital bed in Lansing, MI.

I’m the oldest of 5. Sparrow would “allow” only 2 family members in.

I not going to lie - I was not very close with my mom.

My other siblings and family members had good and maybe even one or two of them great relationships with her.

(This is not to discount other people that loved her and helped her immensely)

So we collectively thought our 2 sisters should see her the most.

It was hard on them. Before (BC) the bullshit - families could and would often - gather in hospital waiting rooms. Spend 10, 20, 30 minutes, etc., with a dying loved one and kind of take turns. Sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks.
This made it easier on each family member and probably easier on the patient as well.
How my sisters spent all day, every day with her is a testament to their love for her. They were troopers.
The hospital did “allow” us to switch a couple people once in a great while.

I was allowed to see her 3 times for that entire month. Three times.

One night right after the surgery and they thought she might pass that night - I drove to the hospital.
I’m not sure what would have happened had I not been allowed in.
Then I think I was able to switch with a family member - I can’t remember if I just lied and said I was one of my brothers or not??
Anyway I was able to visit her a second time.
And in my brain there was a third time, but I honestly can’t remember.

All I would do is drive to Sparrow everyday - usually park on the roof, and wait for whatever sibling might come out or significant other might drive up.
Just to get the latest info and try to be there for them, and for myself.
And then head home hours later.

Again, I was not close, but she was still my mother.

And then approximately 30 days later - she had just had enough and she elected to come home and die.

She was supposed to come home the next morning.
When we arrived at Sparrow, we were told she had been moved to a covid unit….
After breast cancer, brain cancer, brain surgery, a month trying to recover from brain surgery - someone threw her in a covid unit.
I thought my brother was going to kill someone. My sister, an RN, was infuriated and somehow we got ahold of a person and tried to remedy the situation. The hospital delayed my mother from getting home by many hours.
Why? Incompetence? Stupidity? Maybe covid bonus money….??
Not sure - but their “misdiagnosis” cost her and us, several of the last few precious hours of her life with her family….

She finally arrived, and would pass the next morning.

Those that know me, know I basically have 2 emotions.
Happy - and then pissed off.
Basically I vacillate between those two all day, every day.

Not ever really too much sadness.
So please don’t think this is expressed solely out of sadness or reverence to my mother.

While I am thinking of my Mother today - I’m more thinking of those that did nothing to stop the bullshit. Those that went along with all this tyrannical nightmare. Those that merely put your head in the sand, ridiculed those of us that questioned “the science”, that yearned for freedom, that believe in the 1st Amendment.

Yes. I’m thinking of you - and -
Well - You can Fuck Off - especially today.

As angry as I am - I truly hope you never have to warehouse your mom or dad, or anyone you care for, as they are dying - alone - in a sterile, austere, bleak hospital room. Basically a lonely, pathetic prison cell as they waste away….

And if it ever is allowed/attempted to happen again - I hope you find some balls and stand up and fight for a change. We could have used you.

Now - go see your mother.