You are not a sicko
What I am relaying to you is what I was told by her.
I don't know enough about what happened to be able to say more. But as I understood it, once you get better, she would want you back.
And you _can_ get better. I will be there to help you, and others will as well, even if Ashten won't be for now. Which does NOT mean you can never hang out with her ever again.