well, you can look at the relays and see who. that's who. so don't dm people that have dirty relays in their list, or use dirty clients that don't respect the code. run your own relay or find someone who has ethics that does and then get your friends on there and your clients to not be stupid.
in my clients, if you have some dirty relay, yeah I'm gonna treat DMs with you like it's a nostr kind 1.
incremental improvements, ratchet that shit to the max ratchet. or just complain and give up. that's your choices.
