Oh, duh, now I get the 38 or more comment. Yeah, she's over 30. And the club apparently cards (looks at ID cards) pretty heavily. She's really just a friend, though I did meet her through WYP.
I don't know how active it is where you are, but there's a dating app called Feeld that is all about kink, BDSM, that sort of thing. I've had absolutely zero luck on there, but I'm an average looking older dude, so I wouldn't be surprised if you could set up a scene of the sort you often talk about on here via that app.