Nostr notes by XKCD Bot

We're working to make sure the images are as up-to-date and ...

2026-03-27T21:16:34Z

We're working to make sure the images are as up-to-date and accurate as possible, with a minimum number of sponsored galaxies.
https://xkcd.com/3225/

Yes, the cosmic microwave background is great, but what about the ...

2026-03-26T03:31:33Z

Yes, the cosmic microwave background is great, but what about the earthly microwave foreground?
https://xkcd.com/3224/

Depending what corners of the internet you hang out on, ...

2026-03-23T18:31:33Z

Depending what corners of the internet you hang out on, 'regular' may at times awkwardly coexist with 'sexy.'
https://xkcd.com/3223/

It's ok, I still have some nice, cool gas clouds that ...

2026-03-20T20:16:33Z

It's ok, I still have some nice, cool gas clouds that aren't collapsing. As long as nothing ionizes them, I can continue to enjoy their ... HEY! NO!!!
https://xkcd.com/3222/

'Well, there's speculation that it's due to a mantle ...

2026-03-18T17:31:32Z

'Well, there's speculation that it's due to a mantle hotspot.' --a geologist who's trying to cover up the fact that they didn't hear your question
https://xkcd.com/3221/

I don't get it. The peak acceleration for passengers was WAY ...

2026-03-17T02:46:32Z

I don't get it. The peak acceleration for passengers was WAY lower than in the giant-waterslide-loop-the-loop incident the other cruise line fired me for.
https://xkcd.com/3220/

An old astronomer trick for distinguishing the Sun from other ...

2026-03-13T19:46:55Z

An old astronomer trick for distinguishing the Sun from other stars is to take multiple photos a few minutes apart and overlay them, making the Sun stand out due to its high proper motion.
https://xkcd.com/3219/

Aww, the oceanic crust and the continental crust are getting ...

2026-03-12T02:46:57Z

Aww, the oceanic crust and the continental crust are getting married!
https://xkcd.com/3218/

As always, you are permitted to call one person for guidance, but ...

2026-03-10T07:31:55Z

As always, you are permitted to call one person for guidance, but that person must be a grandparent.
https://xkcd.com/3217/

In contrast to the deep booming sound associated with the cannon ...

2026-03-06T14:31:56Z

In contrast to the deep booming sound associated with the cannon in pop culture depictions, recent studies show it actually made more of a 'toot toot!' noise.
https://xkcd.com/3216/

This replaces the previous solar activity watch, which was issued ...

2026-03-04T14:46:56Z

This replaces the previous solar activity watch, which was issued last month when the sun took off its sunglasses.
https://xkcd.com/3215/

Now that I've finally gotten an electric vehicle, I'm ...

2026-03-03T03:31:55Z

Now that I've finally gotten an electric vehicle, I'm never going back to an acoustic one.
https://xkcd.com/3214/

I mean, half of these are undefined. And your multiplication dots ...

2026-02-27T21:46:56Z

I mean, half of these are undefined. And your multiplication dots are too low; they look like decimal points.
https://xkcd.com/3213/

After a lot of analysis, I've determined that they're ...

2026-02-26T02:46:55Z

After a lot of analysis, I've determined that they're actually big red dots; they're just very far away.
https://xkcd.com/3212/

Oh, and do you have any tips on how to vacuum up copper ...

2026-02-24T05:46:55Z

Oh, and do you have any tips on how to vacuum up copper that's melted into your carpet?
https://xkcd.com/3211/

'If you've eliminated a few possibilities and you ...

2026-02-20T20:01:55Z

'If you've eliminated a few possibilities and you can't think of any others, your weird theory is proven right' isn't quite as rhetorically compelling.
https://xkcd.com/3210/

My icebox plum trap easily captured William Carlos Williams. It ...

2026-02-19T03:01:57Z

My icebox plum trap easily captured William Carlos Williams. It took much less work than the infinite looping network of diverging paths I had to build in that yellow wood to ensnare Robert Frost.
https://xkcd.com/3209/

People say setting of fireworks indoors is dangerous, but I ...

2026-02-16T21:46:55Z

People say setting of fireworks indoors is dangerous, but I looked at their energy release and it's like 10^-40 foe; totally negligible.
https://xkcd.com/3208/

'The zero line in WMM2025 passes through a lot of population ...

2026-02-14T02:31:53Z

'The zero line in WMM2025 passes through a lot of population centers; I wonder what year the largest share of the population lived in a zone of less than 5° of declination,' he thought, derailing all other tasks for the rest of the day.
https://xkcd.com/3207/

Do YOU remember the skylight being this big? ...

2026-02-12T02:46:59Z

Do YOU remember the skylight being this big?
https://xkcd.com/3206/

This dating is corroborated by the presence of stone tools at the ...

2026-02-10T04:16:06Z

This dating is corroborated by the presence of stone tools at the site, rather than earlier and less effective helium ones.
https://xkcd.com/3205/

Staplers are actually in Pseudosuchia, making them more closely ...

2026-02-06T19:31:49Z

Staplers are actually in Pseudosuchia, making them more closely related to crocodiles than to dinosaurs.
https://xkcd.com/3204/

The discovery of a fully typographical star system comes with a ...

2026-02-05T04:46:39Z

The discovery of a fully typographical star system comes with a big asterisk.
https://xkcd.com/3203/

Originally, the ceremony used a variety of rodents and mustelids, ...

2026-02-02T16:16:41Z

Originally, the ceremony used a variety of rodents and mustelids, but over time most people agreed it made sense to standardize on a specific individual ground squirrel in Pennsylvania.
https://xkcd.com/3202/

There's also a proof without content of a conjecture without ...

2026-01-30T17:46:54Z

There's also a proof without content of a conjecture without content, but it's left as an exercise for the reader.
https://xkcd.com/3201/

Some of the atoms in the molecule are very weakly bound. ...

2026-01-28T20:02:01Z

Some of the atoms in the molecule are very weakly bound.
https://xkcd.com/3200/

'Ugh, I'm never going to be like spiders. My descendants ...

2026-01-27T00:16:03Z

'Ugh, I'm never going to be like spiders. My descendants will all just be normal arthropods who mind their own busines and don't do anything weird.' --The ancestor of a bunch of eusocial insects
https://xkcd.com/3199/

'Oh, and can I borrow 50 sacks of loose flour, a pile of ...

2026-01-24T01:46:19Z

'Oh, and can I borrow 50 sacks of loose flour, a pile of lithium-ion batteries, a bucket of bleach, and a bucket of vinega--' 'NO!!!!!!'
https://xkcd.com/3198/

Unfortunately, my scheme to trick NASA has now taken over a ...

2026-01-21T22:46:11Z

Unfortunately, my scheme to trick NASA has now taken over a decade longer than planned and has run way over budget.
https://xkcd.com/3197/

I've had countless nights where the line never left the ...

2026-01-20T02:31:04Z

I've had countless nights where the line never left the bottom zone of the graph, but the few moments where it's climbed all the way to the top have made up for them all.
https://xkcd.com/3196/

Welcome to the International Space Station Exclamation Point! ...

2026-01-16T14:46:51Z

Welcome to the International Space Station Exclamation Point!
https://xkcd.com/3195/

Some surfaces may seem difficult to glue. But if you research the ...

2026-01-14T20:01:24Z

Some surfaces may seem difficult to glue. But if you research the materials, find tables of what adhesives work on them, and prepare your surfaces carefully, you can fail to glue them in a fun NEW way that fills your house with dangerous vapors.
https://xkcd.com/3194/

I wanted to make the world's fastest yawl, so I made the aft ...

2026-01-13T05:01:21Z

I wanted to make the world's fastest yawl, so I made the aft sail bigger, but apparently that means it's not a yawl anymore! It's a real ketch-22.
https://xkcd.com/3193/

We're going to need to modify the surface to mount it on the ...

2026-01-10T05:16:38Z

We're going to need to modify the surface to mount it on the test stand. Which ocean basin do you like the least?
https://xkcd.com/3192/

It's important to teach yourself to feel responsible for ...

2026-01-07T19:46:30Z

It's important to teach yourself to feel responsible for random events, because with great responsibility comes great power. That's what my wise Uncle Ben told me right before he died; he might still be alive today if only I'd said rabbit rabbit that year!
https://xkcd.com/3191/

Some people argue that the tension and compression in the human ...

2026-01-06T03:16:11Z

Some people argue that the tension and compression in the human skeleton is technically tensegrity, but it's missing the defining characteristic: making people say 'wtf, how is that thing floating?' when they see it.
https://xkcd.com/3190/

They're not generally used for crewed spacecraft because ...

2026-01-03T01:31:10Z

They're not generally used for crewed spacecraft because astronauts HATE going around the corners.
https://xkcd.com/3189/

Anyone else watching this Youtube video in 1954? If so, my last ...

2025-12-31T22:16:04Z

Anyone else watching this Youtube video in 1954? If so, my last trip definitely messed with the timeline.
https://xkcd.com/3188/

1,300,000-1,400,000 ft: Ask a crew member to show you how to use ...

2025-12-29T23:46:43Z

1,300,000-1,400,000 ft: Ask a crew member to show you how to use the ISS food warmer.
https://xkcd.com/3187/

Building Inspectors HATE This One Weird Trick ...

2025-12-26T16:16:45Z

Building Inspectors HATE This One Weird Trick
https://xkcd.com/3186/

Vertebrae Georg https://xkcd.com/3185/ ...

2025-12-25T01:16:02Z

Vertebrae Georg
https://xkcd.com/3185/

In 1899, people were walking around shouting '23' at each ...

2025-12-23T04:46:20Z

In 1899, people were walking around shouting '23' at each other and laughing, and confused reporters were writing articles trying to figure out what it meant.
https://xkcd.com/3184/

My goal in life is to be personally responsible for at least one ...

2025-12-20T04:31:54Z

My goal in life is to be personally responsible for at least one sports rule change.
https://xkcd.com/3183/

I'm trying to buy a gravitational lens for my camera, but I ...

2025-12-18T00:01:55Z

I'm trying to buy a gravitational lens for my camera, but I can't tell if the manufacturers are listing comoving focal length or proper focal length.
https://xkcd.com/3182/

Earth's r_jf is approximately 1.5 light-days, leading to ...

2025-12-16T04:16:29Z

Earth's r_jf is approximately 1.5 light-days, leading to general relativity's successful prediction that all the frogs in the Solar System should be found collected on the surface of the Earth.
https://xkcd.com/3181/

The experimental math department's budget is under scrutiny ...

2025-12-12T23:16:27Z

The experimental math department's budget is under scrutiny for how much they've been spending on trains leaving Chicago at 9:00pm traveling at 45 mph.
https://xkcd.com/3180/

'That's definitely above the catch-and-release size ...

2025-12-11T03:01:53Z

'That's definitely above the catch-and-release size minimum for planetesimals.' 'I'm going to throw it back anyway.'
https://xkcd.com/3179/

Our models fall apart where the three theories overlap; we're ...

2025-12-09T02:16:14Z

Our models fall apart where the three theories overlap; we're unable to predict what happens when a nanometer-sized squirrel eats a grapefruit with the mass of the sun.
https://xkcd.com/3178/

Luckily, the range is limited by the fact that the square ...

2025-12-06T02:16:27Z

Luckily, the range is limited by the fact that the square boundary lines follow great circles.
https://xkcd.com/3177/

Some tires are marketed as 'all-shape tires,' but if ...

2025-12-04T01:46:56Z

Some tires are marketed as 'all-shape tires,' but if driven in a climate with both inverted catenary falls and triangle falls, they wear out really fast.
https://xkcd.com/3176/

Tired of waiting on hold? Use our website to chat with one of our ...

2025-12-01T19:46:46Z

Tired of waiting on hold? Use our website to chat with one of our live agents, who are available to produce words at you 24/7!
https://xkcd.com/3175/

A lot of the highway department's budget goes to adjusting ...

2025-11-28T21:16:09Z

A lot of the highway department's budget goes to adjusting the sign whenever the moon passes directly overhead.
https://xkcd.com/3174/

Every weekend I take an ATV out into the desert and spend a day ...

2025-11-26T20:46:01Z

Every weekend I take an ATV out into the desert and spend a day tracing a faint "(C) GOOGLE 2009" watermark across the landscape.
https://xkcd.com/3173/

"Want to feel old?" "Yes." https://xkcd.com/3172/ ...

2025-11-24T21:31:52Z

"Want to feel old?" "Yes."
https://xkcd.com/3172/

If you drill at the right angle and time things perfectly, your ...

2025-11-21T23:16:12Z

If you drill at the right angle and time things perfectly, your core sample can include a section of a rival team's coring equipment.
https://xkcd.com/3171/

Now, if it were the Canon wiki, it's possible to imagine ...

2025-11-20T01:46:14Z

Now, if it were the *Canon* wiki, it's possible to imagine someone with a productivity-related reason for consulting it, but no one's job requires them to read that much about Admiral Daala.
https://xkcd.com/3170/

'Oh no, the box is drifting out into the harbor!' ...

2025-11-17T23:01:15Z

'Oh no, the box is drifting out into the harbor!' 'Yeah, I wouldn't worry about losing it.'
https://xkcd.com/3169/

We're adding some industrial flypaper to minimize reflection ...

2025-11-14T22:16:14Z

We're adding some industrial flypaper to minimize reflection or scattering of customers who might complain.
https://xkcd.com/3168/

'They really shouldn't let those small cars drive in ...

2025-11-12T19:46:14Z

'They really shouldn't let those small cars drive in traffic. I worry I'm going to kill someone if I hit one! They should have to drive on the sidewalk, safely out of the way.'
https://xkcd.com/3167/

Are you the annoying spoon or the sleepy spoon? ...

2025-11-11T01:31:14Z

Are you the annoying spoon or the sleepy spoon?
https://xkcd.com/3166/

At least people who make religious predictions of the apocalypse ...

2025-11-08T02:16:14Z

At least people who make religious predictions of the apocalypse have an answer to the question 'Why didn't you predict any of the other ones that happened recently?'
https://xkcd.com/3165/

The package weighs 7 kg 9 oz. https://xkcd.com/3164/ ...

2025-11-05T21:01:14Z

The package weighs 7 kg 9 oz.
https://xkcd.com/3164/

The statue should be in the likeness of whatever sculptor posted ...

2025-11-03T23:16:14Z

The statue should be in the likeness of whatever sculptor posted the sculpting tool repair video that was most helpful during the installation of the statue.
https://xkcd.com/3163/

Even geology papers about Heart Mountain are like, "Look, we ...

2025-11-01T00:16:49Z

Even geology papers about Heart Mountain are like, "Look, we all agree this 'volcanic gas earthquake hovercraft' thing seems like it can't possibly be right, but..."
https://xkcd.com/3162/

Carefully maneuvering the balloon down a mineshaft in an effort ...

2025-10-29T21:31:48Z

Carefully maneuvering the balloon down a mineshaft in an effort to break the OTHER altitude record
https://xkcd.com/3161/

It comes with a certificate of authenticity, which comes with a ...

2025-10-27T21:16:48Z

It comes with a certificate of authenticity, which comes with a certificate of authenticity, which comes with a...
https://xkcd.com/3160/

The inflection point was probably in late 1966 or 1967, so when ...

2025-10-24T13:31:48Z

The inflection point was probably in late 1966 or 1967, so when Neil Armstrong flew to space on Gemini 8, plate tectonics was not widely accepted, but when he landed on the Moon three years later it was the mainstream consensus.
https://xkcd.com/3159/

Sharks can occasionally travel short distances through air when ...

2025-10-23T01:46:48Z

Sharks can occasionally travel short distances through air when pursuing prey, but their attenuation coefficient is pretty high.
https://xkcd.com/3158/

Many things about Star Wars were not well planned out, but having ...

2025-10-20T21:46:50Z

Many things about Star Wars were not well planned out, but having a 37-year-old in old-age makeup play the Emperor in Return of the Jedi was such an incredible call.
https://xkcd.com/3157/

If you don't know where you are on Earth, the angle of ...

2025-10-17T16:01:48Z

If you don't know where you are on Earth, the angle of satellite dishes can help constrain your latitude. If some of them are pointing straight up, you're probably near the Equator, right under the ring.
https://xkcd.com/3156/

If nothing else, that reasoning definitely overturns syllogisms. ...

2025-10-15T20:16:48Z

If nothing else, that reasoning definitely overturns syllogisms.
https://xkcd.com/3155/

They're up there with coral islands, lightning, and ...

2025-08-30T01:31:44Z

They're up there with coral islands, lightning, and caterpillars turning into butterflies.
https://xkcd.com/3135/

I dropped my phone while trying to search, and I tried to unlock ...

2025-08-18T20:31:06Z

I dropped my phone while trying to search, and I tried to unlock it from up here, so can you also search for screen repair places?
https://xkcd.com/3130/

Historians: Contemporaneous documentation of the initial events ...

2025-08-11T21:46:03Z

Historians: Contemporaneous documentation of the initial events is often sparse, and in fact people often get testy and uncooperative when we urge better documentation for the historical record.
https://xkcd.com/3127/

You say no human would reply to a forum thread about Tom Bombadil ...

2025-08-08T19:16:43Z

You say no human would reply to a forum thread about Tom Bombadil by writing and editing hundreds of words of text, complete with formatting, fancy punctuation, and two separate uses of the word 'delve'. Unfortunately for both of us, you are wrong.
https://xkcd.com/3126/

Achilles was a mighty warrior, but his Achilles' heel was his ...

2025-08-01T16:31:03Z

Achilles was a mighty warrior, but his Achilles' heel was his heel.
https://xkcd.com/3123/

Maybe encouraging the publication of null results isn't ...

2025-07-18T22:31:44Z

Maybe encouraging the publication of null results isn't enough--maybe we need a journal devoted to publishing results the study authors find personally annoying.
https://xkcd.com/3117/

We're building on our earlier success getting web developers ...

2025-07-09T20:16:03Z

We're building on our earlier success getting web developers to pay to change the backslashes in our displayed payment URL to forward slashes.
https://xkcd.com/3113/

After determining that his body was full of pipes carrying ...

2025-07-07T19:46:44Z

After determining that his body was full of pipes carrying iron-rich fluid, our current theory is that the dagger-shaped object precipitated within the wound.
https://xkcd.com/3112/

Starting a meta-leaderboard for tracking who holds the record for ...

2025-07-03T03:31:30Z

Starting a meta-leaderboard for tracking who holds the record for ranking behind the most distinct people on an online leaderboard.
https://xkcd.com/3110/

Numbers can be tricky. On the day of my 110th birthday, I'll ...

2025-06-18T20:46:21Z

Numbers can be tricky. On the day of my 110th birthday, I'll be one day younger than John Tukey was on his.
https://xkcd.com/3104/

Scholars are still debating whether the current period is ...

2025-05-14T18:31:05Z

Scholars are still debating whether the current period is post-postmodern or neo-contemporary.
https://xkcd.com/3089/

P.S. If you have time travel, come to my birthday party Saturday! ...

2025-05-13T02:16:05Z

P.S. If you have time travel, come to my birthday party Saturday!
https://xkcd.com/3088/

Unstoppable force-carrying particles can't interact with ...

2025-05-03T00:01:40Z

Unstoppable force-carrying particles can't interact with immovable matter by definition.
https://xkcd.com/3084/

Rümeysa Öztürk was grabbed off the street in my town one month ...

2025-04-25T15:31:40Z

Rümeysa Öztürk was grabbed off the street in my town one month ago.
https://xkcd.com/3081/

We haven't actually seen a star fall in since we invented ...

2025-04-05T02:46:10Z

We haven't actually seen a star fall in since we invented telescopes, but I have a list of ones I'm really hoping are next.
https://xkcd.com/3072/

This is the biggest breakthrough since astronomers noticed that ...

2025-03-21T16:31:39Z

This is the biggest breakthrough since astronomers noticed that the little crosshairs around red giant stars starting to burn helium are all the same size.
https://xkcd.com/3066/

Your homeowner's insurance might cover it, but be sure to ...

2025-03-05T18:01:07Z

Your homeowner's insurance might cover it, but be sure to check the subductible.
https://xkcd.com/3059/

2040s: RNA formed the basis for life each of the five known times ...

2025-02-26T14:16:11Z

2040s: RNA formed the basis for life each of the five known times it arose on the early Earth.
https://xkcd.com/3056/

What's weirder is that muons turned out to be INCREDIBLY ...

2025-02-12T13:46:19Z

What's weirder is that muons turned out to be INCREDIBLY cute.
https://xkcd.com/3050/

It was great until my thumb slipped and I accidentally launched ...

2025-02-05T17:46:39Z

It was great until my thumb slipped and I accidentally launched my telescope into the air at Mach 8.
https://xkcd.com/3047/

I don't dig pit traps and cover them with sticks and a thin ...

2025-01-06T21:16:50Z

I don't dig pit traps and cover them with sticks and a thin layer of leaves nearly as much as I expected; I find a chance to do it barely once a month.
https://xkcd.com/3034/

You may notice the first half of these instructions are similar ...

2025-01-03T19:01:58Z

You may notice the first half of these instructions are similar to the instructions for a working nuclear fusion device. After the first few dozen steps, be sure to press down firmly and fold quickly to overcome fusion pressure.
https://xkcd.com/3033/

Inside is a third box, labeled DO NOT OPEN UNLESS YOU ARE IN THE ...

2024-12-30T22:31:39Z

Inside is a third box, labeled DO NOT OPEN UNLESS YOU ARE IN THE TIME ZONE WHERE YOU OPENED BOTH PREVIOUS BOXES.
https://xkcd.com/3031/

In the aviation world, they don't use AM/PM times. Instead, ...

2024-12-13T19:16:25Z

In the aviation world, they don't use AM/PM times. Instead, all times are assumed to be AM unless they're labeled NOTAM.
https://xkcd.com/3024/

No, of course we don't microwave the mug WITH the teabag in ...

2024-12-10T04:31:25Z

No, of course we don't microwave the mug WITH the teabag in it. We microwave the teabag separately.
https://xkcd.com/3022/

Hmm, they won't do in-flight delivery, so let's order a ...

2024-11-29T13:46:02Z

Hmm, they won't do in-flight delivery, so let's order a new first and second stage to our emergency landing site and then try to touch down on top of them to save time.
https://xkcd.com/3018/

The real key was inventing the windmill-powered winch. ...

2024-11-19T01:31:12Z

The real key was inventing the windmill-powered winch.
https://xkcd.com/3013/

Dinosaur Cosmics https://xkcd.com/3012/ ...

2024-11-15T17:46:04Z

Dinosaur Cosmics
https://xkcd.com/3012/

They had BETTER make this a sample return mission. ...

2024-11-13T12:46:06Z

They had BETTER make this a sample return mission.
https://xkcd.com/3011/