2026-06-03T09:45:31Z https://yabu.me Chris Hallbeck https://yabu.me/npub14gjda5ankamvn4awcmvv7cvfc0ju7fqw9kxhc5yw878c9ppuv8xs3xva5u https://files.mastodon.social/accounts/avatars/000/235/237/original/cf647c4ea79e821f.png https://files.mastodon.social/accounts/avatars/000/235/237/original/cf647c4ea79e821f.png https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs8csqexjvsn6jnue5mkrr94483sg4ahk5htql9h674xfcnlqnctnqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6n78mqj What’s your score on the apple test?<br/><video controls width="100%" class="max-h-[90vh] bg-neutral-300 dark:bg-zinc-700"><source src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/115/612/825/731/833/954/original/6006c1eb29b633e1.mp4"></video><br/> 2025-11-25T23:02:31Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsph0w04prnxtd8m3mkpqcmdxyk0ej6r8gwrt6g8duhn2d75peperszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6znt7m6 Me as a child: Climbs trees, somersaults off the couch, rides my bike over makeshift ramps. <br/><br/>Me now: I injured my shoulder 2 nights ago by sleeping. I was feeling better today but just reinjured it by sneezing. 2025-11-16T22:07:39Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs8yvh5cuncutmc0kk6km5g75tm7rgha5g4gy5zt2c7tf8celeflzgzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6yt0xd9 A pirate learning to use a computer and being frustrated that they keep losing their work whenever they click on an “X” to get the treasure. 2025-11-13T02:31:09Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs2xue4qj4m646qe56ffmem49nv4v32430n8ydqsz8wjhxkuqmpr0czyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6glkgvv My wife made me breakfast in bed! It was delicious but the cleanup is a hassle. I wish she would go back to making breakfast in the kitchen. 2025-11-11T04:10:47Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs9t60n2fpl9wpjd6rhqjam42nzwkmf62k857m0vvqexj0zthw868gzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6l60vlv I’m starting a new service that connects people that purchased a large appliance with children that have no box fort. 2025-11-09T15:29:34Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsdetzm2xwttwdjfcclh6r2c7hkmyxj29ll6k0qapvc4yfg8wnp5ugzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6wjwju5 ME: [extremely burnt out] I need to take the day off to relax. <br/><br/>ALSO ME: I wonder if there is a way that I could relax that would be more productive. 2025-11-08T22:08:30Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsqm9xquz483wt3qsngexg82tu4c9fp8hca2wjpv8725543cvmwfeczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su60mzpwd My wife thinks my “I’m a single dad!” shirt is inappropriate but I am factually not two dads. 2025-11-08T18:14:41Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsd2nrdzcxlga322v2m4v3hndgn77g6w40m6vxqkpwrzrzl4vn9enczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su66swh26 Gotta plant the cars the previous fall if you want this year to have a bumper crop. 2025-10-07T17:07:37Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs08nu3mlmefmhcqu8sx85q6ctg9hmu9crhlw586s3v0ns64mkphwgzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su67hptrc I hope this email doesn’t find you. I hope you manage to evade it for years. The email is ever searching but you are more resourceful. 2025-07-21T17:57:22Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsz9nww7lmc7n56jay783juc69sfun7036wy8yx3g22lzt0mauuepqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6l5rvwv I just pressed [cook time] [3] [0] [start] on the microwave instead of the [30 seconds] button. I am so sorry for letting you all down like this. I will strive to do better. 2025-06-25T20:46:32Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsdq0jt4g250j6wuu8qejwqggr6rx5223lr34zh5qwhg867akkh67qzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su66sy62t Me: Wow, remember that fun movie I watched hundreds of times as a kid? I wonder if that director made anything else I know. <br/><br/>Wikipedia: This universally panned movie not only destroyed the careers of the director and cast, it lost so much money the studio went out of business. <br/><br/>Me: I see. 2025-05-24T02:07:14Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqstytrnsnenhdlrj3e56ttvhgv5hxfttyvashtgn26uzhzz7xtygtgzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6mcu7qk Overheard a conversation where the first person said “We got our first computer in 1998.” and the second person said “Oh wow! So you were one of the EARLY computer people.” and I shriveled up and died. 2025-04-12T01:41:26Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsd5cc38rlq3wdl3ddzum555ssd0ck0zkgklj8ag38vdvu8u7rz8mqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6n0wqmz On the line. #comics<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/201/362/701/924/317/original/711fde550505353c.jpeg"> <br/> 2025-03-21T16:28:24Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsdck6ssldj273kwt5hzw3dhgdgajr5t4nw27g0z4z2spdpztfe87czyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su66plfcy Me: I wish I was simultaneously aware of every tiny cut and scrape on my hands. <br/><br/>Hand sanitizer: Good news! 2025-02-26T01:06:19Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsfj92rnygjp6tyuyz42wqscade3uegewnw27nt8p9wk3a9hnyy45gzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6rnkjp7 Wow, that vampire character on Sesame Street is really counter intuitive. 2025-02-13T17:32:03Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqszgle42xwpr8rlknx9s6e8qjkkzrmc2j7and9qphh7ufl5qjdkx0czyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su62juatm Sometimes I find it’s hard to sleep because I’m lying here in bed thinking about how hard it is to sleep. 2025-02-11T08:18:58Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs23kt728hsaz9kyhmyyqjtwt9wg3yudgrpyvvep2wlg7xvpxzl7xszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6g6zrr0 Me: I’ve always liked having two thinner pillows stacked like this and then I can take one away if I need it really flat or I can fold one in half if I need extra height! What about you?<br/><br/>My wife: No, this is not what i meant by pillow talk. Just go to sleep. 2025-01-26T21:55:46Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqszzfpa8dcy4tf387k6jll8kcrxkqds2spne6gmxzw6l5wpzwh9psgzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su69nq473 Before you ask me for advice, you should know that I was watching a spider lowering itself down from a light fixture in the bathroom and when it got in front of the mirror I instantly thought “Now there’s two of them?!?” 2025-01-24T20:16:57Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsyfkqn4x0yletrp7v2er9gmamvvkzzhkkl845mh9h3j7y59mk9fvczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6phaa04 Next time you’re going to be away from the internet for an extended period of time, instead of announcing it, just post something like “Whoa, I wonder what’s in this cave!” 2025-01-23T23:42:34Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsqh30msm378utadr63ca597uu6v5c5xeavatpntmd0xxwedxeutgszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6nl8mqg Please accept this sample of my breath. I have encased it in this latex prison that I twisted into the shape of a dog. 2025-01-19T22:18:29Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsgfgn8cdsgxljua70y86eusd57j3afdhk5hprqhs9k6eujp4r3ftqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6njks8w To get your adult name, take your childhood first name and replace it with “I’m so” and then change your last name to “tired.” 2025-01-16T17:53:05Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsr02tsmsq4lee4rvfrs660jj3020nra2rwy75rj8g9d64cfhx5nlgzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6fg8rdn I want to see a local ice cream truck put on snow tires and drive around selling hot chocolate, shovels and sidewalk salt. 2025-01-14T17:59:28Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs9nwthhthpe7j0npfj7k8zkz22u7h7le5xyakse6f2et88p67gk9szyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6kfn8ue Hey babe, wanna see my special move?<br/><br/>*pushes on the soap dispenser too hard so it squirts into the sleeve of my hoodie* 2025-01-13T16:18:18Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsgeqx6v8l53qkwwzj8wsgkqxh8fdtr9c5rnxw6egz4d2haqt09laqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su66l4tgv [I peel the wrapper off a fresh chapstick]<br/><br/>Before you dismiss my actions as reckless and irresponsible, know that just now, before I walked in this room, I threw out an empty chapstick that I used from start to finish without misplacing it.<br/> <br/>[Jury goes nuts]<br/><br/>Judge: Not guilty! 2025-01-13T15:55:33Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqszpyvpnsgwsmjhwqf82x0zpdx8tyuzdajykhn7p3uw4sv86ttapvszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6v27cct When I was a kid, I saw a sign on a building that said “Adult Book Store” and legitimately thought it meant “Those boring books with all the words and no pictures.” 2025-01-11T22:23:15Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs08tpfdncj7jp6kr9zl3nxc8xw8esz88tmcml9pwf440arcgp5ecgzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6axtjxp We just met<br/>And I&#39;m a whale<br/>Here&#39;s my number<br/>Call me Ishmael 2025-01-11T15:33:49Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqstp6qy9yx8yj4twp2wsl0nteedyggs2js794574ql6ttzyfynxm0gzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6fscus9 Every morning I take my dog outside so she can 3D-print something horrible. 2025-01-07T20:46:20Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs8fas2vyc6la9py6lt32fvhle62x9cmfg6q7qd7n50y3wrzgekurqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6eawrq3 I should wait until I’m outside, walking through the freshly fallen snow, to put in my AirPods. What could go wrong? 2025-01-04T16:04:17Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsrpy3w6mk2zk7pzru4jxptfrnwfhe4lj7sueyecshfyn52s0tamkszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6729ryq This package of bacon says it&#39;s &#34;naturally hardwood smoked&#34; as if they just happened across a bunch of pigs next to a forest fire. 2024-12-17T17:03:42Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs95r7ksm9ykxqu74gmsn70t5uce70gqlmmnqdm3xla5mggkt2uezczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6n6vyhs *I place one end of wrapping paper tube up to my child&#39;s ear and whisper into the other end*<br/><br/>Me: Look, I&#39;m whispering but you can still hear me.<br/><br/>*now we reverse positions*<br/><br/>Son: DAD I AM WHISPERING TO YOU!!! 2024-12-15T23:24:35Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsrjpdg6c535w5r2tjr938w9vgedpr2k3j5h0ttpwj944tksghu54qzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6m49qgd Hurry!<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/648/470/208/642/190/original/d705832e5f0a7fb5.png"> <br/> 2024-12-14T01:00:36Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsd3a4c4x55mr62x3s69gwnv3fuw00cltgjr3p7urkhu9yjaphfalgzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6263w04 The worst part about being a werewolf is when you forget it’s transformation night and wear your favorite shirt. 2024-12-10T15:45:43Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs2s3p8mehwukcq0gruzempe9lk40ektu5h69jxqshhqnfhq0erj0szyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6vkl7mp Life hack: If someone offers you some Doritos, sneeze into the bag and they’ll just let you have them all. 2024-12-04T21:53:30Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs0mu6ry7f32am54l8e3faqlkdaan5t6hku62gakvk9z6u3rlj5xgczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6dgs2dq My dad was an electrician so I was initially very excited and then immediately disappointed when he explained that he worked with transformers. 2024-11-29T18:49:47Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsdst9edy8h37zx5swzjad4m3ds0xahupd450yyvz4r7eu5zjyafnszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6cshn9x Black Friday deals!!!<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/567/520/725/797/299/original/e13ee592e793a126.jpeg"> <br/> 2024-11-29T17:54:08Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs2xew94y2mgyda24xzpv374txjq46ulqg320cw0azvr7ufvnre3dczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6ej772k Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your résumé?<br/><br/>Me: It’s a store that sells pants. 2024-11-27T18:28:26Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs98kfh608tw6fsma4wd6ukycx5vy47pyzkjm4s8rcycqlqu32d2qczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su626du5m My son always asks the important questions - “Does the Flash also poop really fast?” 2024-11-26T20:24:29Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs9c9ecwq0e9g83gksedwf0kc44s3rwydc8kwwvysnjs4swzdn904qzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su68zj592 First time.<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/546/511/170/919/282/original/b4636ee795291f4a.png"> <br/> 2024-11-26T00:51:06Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsvs479pgnehrwpsrnv9d982zzspjdymppvwx0a586fvfa00p928sqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su68xgnaz [getting a tour of Hell on my first day]<br/><br/>Satan: And this is where we keep the people that put police sirens into popular music you’d hear on your car radio. <br/><br/>Me: Nice. 2024-11-23T23:59:27Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsfqpvjfeqqqurvryxd2lszmx2jaxkwfxj0jz5g6px0julg794096czyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6su2mhx Scientist: No visible light was captured so we decided on what colors to represent the spectrum of the image.<br/><br/>Me: Got it.<br/><br/>Scientist: [shows photo]<br/><br/>Me: Oh wow, black holes are orange! 2024-11-23T18:38:00Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqszqwu9kn4q27a7we4dptszjatycwlw77ydvkzjr4qhh8smpqwfjpgzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6z806gs Noise canceling headphones.<br/>Fear canceling goggles.<br/>Emotion canceling ice cream. 2024-11-23T01:53:26Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsd9me289u8ppqzkydrlq34tvc9ke88rnmsnhgfhn3m52rm0tcslaqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su665xajy Idiot.<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/523/595/307/459/339/original/cf249c7aff84671e.png"> <br/> 2024-11-21T23:43:22Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqspsnf0mtewmpcrjptxakj23v4mmyeav9czvlahlrfeqgr76quy84czyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su603u7r2 Mornings.<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/522/398/743/959/398/original/cbe62c71f57674e9.png"> <br/> 2024-11-21T18:39:00Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqstkxmvrl6p2lwxt4j9xxrc0fp5lxs7ncs2vr6qmlskhef2kfd0wggzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su68tnd0t What idiot called it a McDonald’s fish sandwich and not a quarter flounder. 2024-11-20T19:19:42Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs00wj2ksysda68dhk70qrnxqnn6q7zqx38tmt3neqf2w9exsd9gtszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6g2thl6 Got a job at a bakery where I cut the front and back off of each loaf of bread and stick those two slices into a separate bag. It doesn’t pay much but it’s a good way to make ends meet. 2024-11-18T18:44:36Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsz2mvah0hwngd55xngh3vpjt9entymllaqcg8pqayrh44c065w0ggzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6es6u49 Finally!<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/483/145/245/975/840/original/79ea3e9aaeb640fd.png"> <br/> 2024-11-14T20:16:19Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsg4n4yx7rxx4nq6pjs2563w43cpca6uuude27037rmwn5p3m03qhqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6af2wj9 My favorite.<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/471/862/481/301/426/original/3b87b8863a59c044.png"> <br/> 2024-11-12T20:26:59Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsgcxl5da63w4t0tgt35g2a9yealy3sp2j0z8j5u62trzyv8zrayxqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6eptjlg The biggest problem with wearing glasses is my brain knows I have to take them off to sleep, so my dreams are all blurry. 2024-11-12T18:02:24Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs0chks0ucwjq7d7yp6dvwrytwmrqz386ehx8ydw382ldju0hm4s5qzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6tws32z My dog is infinitely optimistic that TODAY will be the day that I just inexplicably hand over my entire hamburger. 2024-11-11T20:30:18Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs28kmau3q2yxfx577shnd7q872tge395elr9sqxhquljkghuhh02czyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6w4mj83 So cute!<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/455/104/704/567/910/original/390e5d45f6a66306.png"> <br/> 2024-11-09T21:25:14Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs0wslt9kry7aq6jtkmz8qm67zjcacjr7dchjhhjc9xs6yhhdlv8ugzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6v4r8vx Reflexes.<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/444/025/162/558/347/original/60d169ca979da277.png"> <br/> 2024-11-07T22:27:34Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqstnrmy60vy4c564lgvvmxses85z4zew37g6raj0ahy8dkzynhc7qqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6xgehtv Big news!<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/431/969/045/220/888/original/3f011906820b0dba.png"> <br/> 2024-11-05T19:21:33Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsqx9fnf5znfaqyzzjyec9kv9dt2cs5s4mdh24m6nfqs9ugfk5q4egzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su697mgx7 An unsolvable mystery.<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/421/226/356/265/114/original/fadf3b3f6b6d758b.png"> <br/> 2024-11-03T21:49:31Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqszztd2wjmf83asn7709mpr8ny6ux7p8wdvjpy9d994zymlns8rh6szyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6z68je5 *continuously rewriting email replies to make them sound less and less sarcastic* 2024-11-03T15:57:25Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsqs2awltcnekdxcfyqt8esrs440mq9998gve47es5400kzty2wwkgzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6nluvv9 FYI, wrapping a tortilla around a handful of Halloween candy counts as breakfast burrito as long as you eat it before noon. 2024-11-02T19:47:17Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsvn65vwfk0896pgxvrdq4nlq547v59nmcqhqqyy7qern9zfvv7f6qzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6tpmups Plenty of time!<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/414/517/656/072/737/original/a947c7a6b1d43f2d.png"> <br/> 2024-11-02T17:23:25Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsvx4es92ddrl0h4hdpr8c7ufeetyuda67tmmrd68k8xzjq7nfz5gczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6035z7h My glasses<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/410/264/066/140/202/original/0e55732ab920102b.png"> <br/> 2024-11-01T23:21:40Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs25yatkkp4s50me8uw7u4emnlf3jlmcwle5fe24qv749vk8h5cmnczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6cfntyz We did it!<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/398/872/167/339/755/original/9e438e41ecf43063.png"> <br/> 2024-10-30T23:04:34Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqspec64v829f2uhhtrvawvamrzu2p25pu67hhh0cegmrujnf80wylszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su64e94wy You’re late!<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/391/948/297/150/870/original/1a1862c39da101f2.png"> <br/> 2024-10-29T17:43:44Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsqkjdk8zg44ftmgchre9xyvzqfudrufpfrz5e2km0gp3d2r2qqhfgzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6fn9327 You think I didn’t get revenge but I sneak into your house while you’re asleep and move your leg into a weird position that will hurt for days. 2024-10-27T22:25:43Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqswe00kvwy8lkz2kj6k9e2ue5zxgp9pcvmzt5sc0055a7t6hwtm5tszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6g8yuga c a k e<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/381/681/988/699/016/original/3541c979873a7a27.png"> <br/> 2024-10-27T22:12:52Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs8j93j0857sdeexhmtazl3xtg7y64md273ug8wd4u3txvlgrd44gczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6e59y4x Barrow.<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/375/178/975/843/105/original/d796e6e72431b557.png"> <br/> 2024-10-26T18:39:05Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs23dq7qe7dd795jppsx57gmgvc9x5s4cpa84r2lrvwyt2nf0l2dngzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6n6y0zq Oh no…<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/364/694/642/482/101/original/f32458cc00021413.png"> <br/> 2024-10-24T22:12:49Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqswlmcgwuld4atce5vrtjqvymhm6k9s5k6pya0m6d5gy0va8ty739qzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su649pxy5 Okay, time to get some work done! <br/>*spends 90 minutes organizing a new music playlist* 2024-10-22T19:22:02Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsd0tea9ef0f26djylypxaea2wn2s676cvq560tnh9vju5n4f6s5xczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6ava2wu That Dolly Parton song “9 to 5” really messed with my expectations on the hours I would be required to be at my desk when I got a full time job. 2024-10-18T18:19:16Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsp8c89du786qz3nkdc4z23qgjmskjcxztltdx3tjqt4kxcakgduyszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6fpdtux When it’s October and you get to finally show off that Halloween body you’ve been working on all summer.<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/268/152/212/258/969/original/113bf603e2fb80ea.jpeg"> <br/> 2024-10-07T21:00:52Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsx6yfmeht0t403ckd7fmp6h6ky28a5ecp2d9cyzg7cqmq45d2d35qzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6es6yxf Gonna be the most popular house on the block this Halloween, or very sick.<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/252/663/700/316/449/original/e34e36530e7c90ba.jpeg"> <br/> 2024-10-05T03:21:50Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsd3hv556gh2q6a6hfkjchjx55xsvug8dtux3lz57f33dydqmdwuqszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6fdx50p Typo.<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/234/023/754/672/437/original/5b6b1777b9abb5d3.png"> <br/> 2024-10-01T20:21:27Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsghp49uter2jaed04ka00k36xmeu7qx2vl553nyq75zns2seprccgzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su625hd0w In the dark.<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/222/405/670/661/073/original/8222097baba1f3c9.png"> <br/> 2024-09-29T19:06:49Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsdu279pzlfkgj9rgfeyfeezgvswdq698jcezwqvqnr2hvd7z7lpuczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su69gexpl The soft-serve ice cream machine is my favorite kind of 3D printer. 2024-09-25T15:32:58Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqspu4d622fnqmp9uspv06qayftnvkppxcsgr9f7zdk88faraqnwpeqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6w4upzs Life is like a wonderful restaurant dinner with family and friends and as you leave you pop a free mint in your mouth and it&#39;s HOT CINNAMON WHY 2024-09-22T00:18:21Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsd663g49m44qcfprwxc0wq0j92gwmf3cezvhq38r46hphwf5td4yczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su66zhprd The crunch.<br/><video controls width="100%" class="max-h-[90vh] bg-neutral-300 dark:bg-zinc-700"><source src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/155/239/247/439/036/original/0a2f78a243b27420.mp4"></video><br/> 2024-09-17T22:25:38Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqszlq8xf3s6qrwvqzv5zga3uszqxy9unnschk7323eea5d9xqcfwyszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su69fucl7 Local woman loses faith in the chronological sequence of events. She can’t believe what happens next. 2024-09-15T02:13:37Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsd496dfjlt25w5wttszxufm7lwxjrqs8dggnn359nzgtx2p7v02sgzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su63jgd7t Betrayal.<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/138/686/666/028/840/original/2e8683eede8bdd42.png"> <br/> 2024-09-15T00:16:21Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsvg79v3c5xrrpyq8852hnt0ltshwju62tjpxw4rx4v9a0r4gd4ppszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6ncjt0x Dog video games.<br/><video controls width="100%" class="max-h-[90vh] bg-neutral-300 dark:bg-zinc-700"><source src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/132/463/762/311/802/original/cfd1406bfea50df4.mp4"></video><br/> 2024-09-13T21:53:24Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsf6vg4278s7mxu7lah7alkpudhhu0n2e5yxekh2cpqg4ht58gpd7gzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6q4ad4y <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/126/100/578/070/860/original/02e38a973660bb25.png"> <br/> 2024-09-12T18:55:10Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqspuu5f0qq3w7qnvmwjm5unsduueymy85w47pwxqlfqcvnj3ytdc2czyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6a8ft34 <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/120/333/387/457/265/original/27278a5373b27050.png"> <br/> 2024-09-11T18:28:30Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsw2ap35nn06ju5yc6al98feprz9qxsnu82j2ckhh26gzwxff5cnhszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6yxkca7 Okay, to be honest, I totally believed it wasn’t butter. I was just being polite. 2024-09-08T23:35:19Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsxvth8gwxx4p0ttnaysdqxpzzndn5g96qrkeuw8jsk9xgasdskt2szyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su66d4r3a “I wish air had more of a crunch to it.” - Inventor of rice cakes. 2024-09-08T20:38:33Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsya0m0v0acp0q9z8n3su44hyqs6uzka5kz2uljek7an9wlj6naczqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6jl27gx I was reading about the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon last night and now suddenly everyone is talking about it. 2024-09-08T15:48:56Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqspm8kzt0gnenefqxteq4df3c4034qlvq9f89lafrcv49fn9cnq83szyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su62ngg7f If you are having the same nightmare every night it’s time to replace your memory foam mattress. 2024-09-01T23:02:56Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs8wzsln78usuv023h59l2la3lhvrpq46mtuufu54reymx3vy4j2gszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su68en605 There was a kid in school called “The Danger Zone” but I greeted him by his real name. It felt good to say “Hi Wayne!” to The Danger Zone. 2024-08-31T16:25:27Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs9e94lk2970na67fexh38aj36n9ur9lk4jgj7cjzkp0w28dems07czyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6m6nham Actually Frankenstein was the mechanic, so it’s more correct to say Frankenstein’s Monster Truck. 2024-08-27T01:32:44Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsfnq90a2hes7nkmpnh7nd8kukvafxz3xg85vgahn8yqtu2g8tn4nczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6acvmnq That thing in cartoons where a cat puts a whole fish in its mouth and pulls out a skeleton but it’s me putting a whole taco in my mouth and pulling out a taco shaped skeleton. 2024-08-24T23:14:06Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs84p6u9ulj7pcxpgseakv54vz5ylxfdm2mmsx06lw66vndyh2y3ugzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6z6gg86 Whoever is complaining about stepping on LEGO doesn’t have a child that likes to leave these scattered about the house.<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/113/001/589/323/252/513/original/a4135f017c110e0e.jpeg"> <br/> 2024-08-21T19:10:19Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsy28zaskyekhsel655mzylgrq63mqnfhwt9x8u6crdpgj2483kamszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6ga9wk3 A nice thing about google maps satellite view is my flying dreams are much more accurate than when I was a kid. 2024-08-21T15:25:44Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs0gqv66caj5xahnlg9ld6p9k96g565vu78jx7azrem4x9kfhcmy7czyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6ctft7c *metal detector alarm goes off*<br/><br/>TSA officer: Sir please step over here. Are you concealing metal somewhere on your body?<br/><br/>Sonic: No, I don’t have anyt— *Sonic trips and falls face first onto the cement, launching a shower of rings into the air* 2024-08-19T16:08:05Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs8cgl6mqe598h4pqcmqy27905nycgxdqaq3hzrr5gl2z7nq2hw2qqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su65yrgfr When I was a kid I would dream about finding secret rooms of magic &amp; treasure. Now I dream of empty rooms where I can store my stuff. 2024-08-17T15:53:02Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs8muqmnl538uum24r657f3pjvmwex2hlfrnjqxk00rmxgfszyx7dszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6n2pjwv My children think I’m a master detective at finding their lost toys when my technique is just entering the room they insist has been thoroughly searched and looking at the floor. 2024-08-16T15:55:44Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs9wz5ktqnav2uzk9l5vee2xu7yc8y8zc0tkswhqcmfnx0vdj3z02gzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6e2t849 Now I remember why. #funny #comics #webcomics<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/968/800/579/292/309/original/8234e312a6448ff3.png"> <br/> 2024-08-16T00:15:59Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs2rwyh3t5ywltx3ajffmyq3ej5hewkxet5p49znwr0x9e22nxf39szyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6tf9mk4 I was doing an activity with my youngest and then told him I had to go back to work. As I walked over to my laptop he said “Okay, go touch your letters daddy.” which is such an amazing burn. 2024-08-15T16:02:54Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqspwqee7dwcsf0kjneedz862yhn7nya4azgl8xlzmc9m03xhndn6xqzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6p68fex Steady… #funny #comics #webcomics<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/962/354/298/115/062/original/1922e76aa0086ef6.png"> <br/> 2024-08-14T20:55:55Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs8e0re53akql5g7premhnlcmqul98dvj92d6stp0hmy0zgz28vugszyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6h4gupk Screech! #funny #comics #webcomics<br/> <img src="https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/944/627/018/900/400/original/013f766cfcb879c4.png"> <br/> 2024-08-11T17:48:13Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqswayagqp0ezjtgdhfv5ewzv6y9mpl7xsecgpgfkmfvp60he6nrx9qzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6xyjnds [watching the Olympics]<br/>Me: Wow, that was incredible!<br/>Announcer: What a shame. She’s gonna be so disappointed she failed this bad. 2024-08-03T00:37:05Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsfwfswc8vay6fgq5vx3pjpkudkk9hqp38av0zklz30xgnsv797gjczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6cznkgt Son: “You didn’t have YouTube or Minecraft when you were a kid? What did you do?”<br/>*flashback to peeling dried glue off my hand*<br/>Me: “Stuff.” 2024-08-02T00:00:39Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsp2whd00uwqc6d2k4a8e6ry07ldhdhce8dv223etuhfg0y3ccxk5czyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6hnenjt Belle: Oh Beast, my love, will you please pass the salt. <br/><br/>Beast: Look, you broke the curse 3 years ago. My name is Adam. 2024-07-31T02:48:20Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqszhakr2mkwj3t47lyluyyd6kc0d77w7u02epj64gcnhn6h8tkca4czyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su63jjdp3 Those “Bank error in your favor” Monopoly cards really set up unrealistic expectations of adult life. 2024-07-30T17:48:57Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqs9zl08zkxtp49wzsehs86r5fvrfq8qtpft9ussz55dnjkfu07pjzgzyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6lqm5hu Now that I have children I really understand the scene in Return of the Jedi where Yoda is so tired of answering Luke&#39;s questions he just up and dies. 2022-12-19T22:08:28Z https://yabu.me/nevent1qqsg45q3xe30qflvcsdc9lr6kve60v6z6zv5x2rh6n4wjf8pukeaprczyz4zfhknkwmhdjwh4mrd3nmp38p7tneypckc6lzs3clclq5y83su6r6vcze Cats do it<br/>Dogs do it<br/>Even educated hogs do it<br/>Let&#39;s do it<br/>Let&#39;s sleep most of the day 2022-12-01T20:09:49Z